I Still Sleep with My Childhood Plushie
I am a young adult.
And every night, I fall asleep with my hand clenched around a stuffed animal. It is a slightly worn cow with yellow horns, and he is the most important thing I own.
You might frown at this. You might even find it ridiculous and childish. Or you might find it sweet — maybe even relatable, if you have your own cuddly toy at home.
But regardless of your reaction, I think most people would find this confession peculiar. After all, we associate teddies with children. We associate the calm, safety, and joy of valuing and spending time with a favorite plush friend with members of a younger age.
And in a way, we restrict these actions — these feelings — to children. After all, they are allowed to do these things. No one is asking them to stop.
They are vulnerable beings in a dangerous world, and holding on to a plushie is like having a sturdy anchor. Just look at the way children clench their fingers around their toys when they are sad or afraid. These plushies are often their closest companions and confidantes, with whom every joy and sorrow is shared.
Until they are thrown away upon the threshold of adolescence. No longer needed or wanted.
And this is seen as maturity — letting go of this silly attachment in favor of other, better (and more adult) solutions, like relying on other relationships for security, help, and play.
Despite the fact that I also established new connections in my phase of growing up, I never let this old attachment go. I still hold on to the sense of calm that my plushie provides. I still hold on to the meaning he has to me — because he is just that important.
The significance of a plushie.
My little cow has been with me since I was a baby.
He was there when I awoke from horrible nightmares, and when I went through my heartbreaks. He always came with me on vacations, and he joined my high school class trip to Spain. All throughout my childhood, adolescence, and adulthood, he has nursed me through countless anxiety attacks and heavy periods of depression.
He really is — and always has been — my anchor.
But he is also just someone I care deeply about. He holds a value that nothing else can compare to. He is not just something I found at the store — he is a connection that holds such personal and emotional significance to me that he is utterly irreplaceable as an attachment.
And in a world that is starting to see the value of such rare connections to materialistic purchases, I cannot see why holding on to him would be such a bad thing.
Because really, there is nothing immature about sleeping next to a childhood plushie. There is nothing immature about living a bit childishly.
The difference between immaturity and childishness.
Regardless of their actual definitions, I like to distinguish between the acts of being immature and being childish.
- Immaturity signals a lack of self-awareness and empathy. Immature people handle personal and interpersonal conflicts in a manner that worsens the problem, by exhibiting negative or harmful reactions. These often stem from a subconscious desire to protect the self from criticism and any difficult changes that would have to follow from that.
- Childishness reflects characteristics commonly linked to children, like adventurousness, childlike wonder, motives for learning, and creative play. These are very admirable traits that are often reduced to naivete, or dismissed as an inferior lack of experience and knowledge.
Both of course, are descriptors used for adults, in a negative way. But whereas only some children are immature, childishness is in everyone’s nature during youth. And in that nature, there is nothing worth shaming.
There is nothing inherently immature about many of the traits related to childishness. I love looking at life through the emotionally expressive and mentally stimulating lens of a child. There really are things adults should learn from children — many abilities that make young individuals more capable and resilient than we think.
In other words, a childish (or childlike) person can be mature.
And a mature, adult person can be childish and go to sleep each night with a plushie.
Besides, is it really hurting anyone?
Plushies are not age-specific.
Bone brittleness is. And back pain. And, in many cases, yellowing teeth and graying hairs.
But the security and happiness of a close attachment is not. It is an ageless thing, only limited by our self-defined norms and conventions.
Indeed, only the societal expectations of children and adults keep it from being normalized. In this way, teddies are associated with children because we simply say so. But what if we stopped saying so?
Because, really, if it isn’t hurting anyone, is it really that bad?
