I Stopped “Trying” — and That Is How I Succeeded
There are two kinds of people.
Those who dream and those who dare. Those who have an intention and those who take action. Those who try and those who do.
I succeeded only once I did the latter.
Once I stopped trying.
The content of this article does not pertain to cases of physical or mental illnesses or disabilities. Instead, it refers to goals, habits, and productivity. The article was heavily inspired by James Clear’s thoughts in Atomic Habits.
Trying is a fruitless effort.
Three years ago, I wanted to start working out.
I spent the first months trying real hard. I tried for five minutes every day, then fifteen, and then twenty. But I only worked out some days — and more often than not, the sessions were products of shame rather than discipline.
Two years ago, I wanted to become a more effective student.
For weeks, I dedicated four to eight hours each day to studying. I promised myself to try to do as much as possible during those hours. When the exam finally came, I realized that I had wasted weeks of my life doing just this.
One year ago, I wanted to learn online writing.
I tried hard to achieve this dream. First, I learned some skills from various professionals, and then, I brainstormed and wrote for hours. In the end, it took me several days to complete even a single article.
Looking back, I utterly failed in terms of the discipline and productivity I had sought out.
I had tried very hard, when, in fact, I had done very little.
Trying versus Doing.
It matters what words you use to describe yourself.
When you claim to be “trying” to reach a certain goal, you are creating distance between yourself and your desired state. You are implying that there is a fair chance that you will fail, and that you might fall victim to some external or internal hurdles in your life. Essentially, you are creating excuses for yourself — and you are limiting your ability to follow through.
On the other hand, when you claim to be “doing” something to reach a goal, you are creating a commitment between yourself and your tasks. You are making it clear that this course of action is doable — and that you will follow through despite certain inevitable challenges. You are marking your efforts as active and deliberate rather than passive and half-assed.
This way, despite their common usage, Trying and Doing mean different things:
- “I am trying” means “I am anticipating failure. Thus, I might give up.”
- “I am doing” means “I am staying committed. I am following through.”
This is why I fell short when I tried to reach my health and career goals.
I made a vague commitment to try. Therefore, even if I took the tiniest, most insignificant step to reach that goal, I could have proudly stopped at any time and proclaimed: “Well, I did actually try, just like I set out to do.”
Even if I skipped my workout session one day, I did try not to. Even if I spent four hours on half a chapter, I did try to do more. Even if I failed to complete my next article, I did try to be more productive.
Even if I didn’t follow through, I did try, and that was the only thing I set out to do anyway.
Therefore, I felt successful even before I had achieved my actual goal. I reaped the benefits of self-improvement before I had made it a reality.
I felt as if I had done something, when I had only actually tried.
What I should have done, and what I am doing now, is to commit myself to an action. There is no negotiation to be made — either I do it or I don’t. Sure, trying is admirable, but it gets me nowhere to actually doing that thing.
After all, anyone can try to start working out. Anyone can try to adopt a healthier lifestyle. Anyone can try to become a better friend — or a faithful spouse or a hard-working employee.
But only some people actually do it.
And they are the ones who make a meaningful difference in their lives.
