I Wasted My First Year of University
First years of anything are tough.
They come with tasks, responsibilities, expectations, places, and people that are new and foreign. New environments are demanding and stressful, and there is generally a difference between those who learn to thrive and those who fail to learn. Being able to adapt is vital in these instances, but that means that we often struggle in the beginning only to look back later and feel uncomfortable with the mistakes we once made.
I know I did.
Number 1: I did studying the wrong way.
The most central aspect of college/university life is doing the work.
A student can be skilled, employed, or socially active, but the thing that actually matters in the future is that the student learns what they need to learn. They need to not just read their books and fulfill the tasks that are mandatory, but they need to do so in a way that allows them to practice the curiosity, teachability, and discipline that their future demands. And the best (and only) way there, is to be a time- and energy-effective student.
Which I was not.
For one, I did not manage my time. Instead of setting specific goals and time limits on my tasks (like giving myself two hours to write a paragraph in my research paper), I wasted weeks on things that could have taken much less time (for instance, I spent several days on each chapter in the book, rather than setting aside a short but sufficient four hours to each of them). I studied only when I felt motivated, and in some subjects, I spent the entire semester procrastinating, until I finally crammed last minute.
Not only did I shun the discipline and time management I so desperately needed in order to study well, but I also went about consuming the actual material in a flawed way. Instead of focusing on picking up the most crucial information to use to understand the rest, I showed up at every lecture and read every chapter and article just to feel productive. Instead of focusing on reading, processing, and recalling what I had read (saving large amounts of time using Active Recall as my study method), I wasted hours taking notes that I would have had to re-read anyway.
I was ineffective in my study habits, and for that, I wasted months of time.
Number 2: I made the wrong choices in my social life.
To me, student life has always been about studying — not about being social.
And although this opinion remains unchanged, I do see the value (and importance) of spending larger amounts of time with your fellow students. Social connections are pathways to meaningful friendships and emotional support, not to mention study groups, which can fully alter the trajectory of how prepared you are for your exams. Similarly to studying, it is important to make the right kinds of connections, so as to maximize the time and energy you spend with other people.
And I failed to do so in most regards.
Because I spent very little time on campus, I had fewer opportunities to meet and befriend the right kinds of people. I was scared in this foreign situation, and because I was scared, I was timid. Therefore, in my lonely and vulnerable state, I took what I got.
Unsurprisingly, I (mostly) made ties with the wrong people. I spent time with people whose actions went against my deepest values and principles: they procrastinated and complained a lot, and some even talked behind other people’s backs or made me their own personal psychologist (for the record, this is a term that a therapist once used to describe me in relation to this situation, as well as a label some of my past friends used on me). In retrospect, it is not their faults that strike me most painfully, but rather the fact that I was too cowardly to take a more honest stance and move on.
Because when I noticed how detrimental my social situation was to my work and health, I realized just how important it was that I got it right the next time.
Number 3: I focused more on performing than learning.
The most valuable aspects of university are not material or superficial.
The things you use to study (like the computer you write on, the books you read, the meals you eat) should not weigh more in cost than what you end up taking away from them. The things you achieve during your studies (like the work, grades, or social status that you produce) should not weigh more than your input and effort. Learning, with interest and curiosity, is — and always will be — the core function and value of studying.
Sadly, it took me a while to realize this.
During my first semester, I carried over the approach to grades that I had had during high school: compete and compare. When people asked about my grades, I told them, and because they told me in turn, I found myself in a constant state of unhealthy comparison and competition. Ironically, I was even taking a degree where grades no longer mattered, so when I turned to focus on enjoying and enhancing the learning process rather than working for social and personal recognition, I found that I learned and achieved much more.
Bleeding into my second semester, I gave more time and energy to the look and feel of student life than on the actual aspects of studying: the work and effort behind learning something new. I bought fancy notebooks and pretty pens, and for lunch, I bought salads with plastic lids from the buffet. I was so concerned with presenting my student life as productive, that I forgot to actually be productive.
Performance was important, but actually learning things was what brought me forward.
I am not alone in having these regrets.
Many of the things I mentioned are mistakes that most students still make.
But even so, it is important to remember two things. Mistakes are entirely inevitable in the context of any new environment, as it is impossible to be fully prepared. Additionally, mistakes are incredibly valuable, because they are the reasons that we learn.
Without my mistakes, I would not be looking back with such regret, and I would not be looking toward the future with such improved student habits.
And for that growth, my biggest mistakes cost me a year.
