The Joy (Not the Fear) of Missing Out
We all want to be part of something special.
None of us want to miss out, so to speak, on the best that life has to offer. This desire to make your existence worthwhile is normal — healthy, even. However, it becomes less so when it devolves into a preoccupation to do and be certain things that go beyond your own boundaries and ambitions.
Ironically, when this happens, you truly risk missing out on life.
I credit the content of this article to Austin Kleon and his book Keep Going: 10 Ways to Stay Creative in Good Times and Bad. I have merely interpreted his writings and added some other, outside reflections into the mix.
The desire to never miss out can quickly turn into an intense fear.
This is known as FOMO (the fear of missing out). With the rise of modern technology, it has become easier for the average person not just to pursue countless more opportunities in life (like where to go, what to experience, and who to spend time with) but also to show everyone else what they are currently missing out on. As our options have increased (and with social media, our attention toward them), so has FOMO become a staple in the lives of many people.
FOMO tends to manifest in certain ways:
- Not saying “no” to certain people or events
- Keeping up with trends, and copying others
- Comparing your own life to everyone else’s
As with any short-term solution, doing this feels good in the moment.
It feels good to know that you were present at the event when that new, fancy bar opened up, or that you secured that pretty dress that everyone is raving about online. It feels good that you are no more farther behind than those around you, because at least you were there when the nice, pleasant thing happened. It feels good to have caught up.
But what is the outcome of this eternal marathon?
You went to that party with your friends, but now it is too late to catch up with that book you were hoping to read before bed. You got that new dress that everyone wants, but now your purse is missing the 100 dollars that you were hoping to spend on those shoes you have wanted for months. You spend the precious time, energy, and resources that you need for other, more important pursuits, just to keep from missing out on the thousand other things that life has to offer.
You keep running, yet you are only passing the milestones of everyone else.
Eventually, this pursuit will take a toll on you. Eventually, this “need” to always be and do like everyone around you, will keep you from living a life that is satisfying or meaningful to you in its own right. In everyone else’s eyes, you will be a success — but what will you see when you look back?
A life lived for them and not for you.
In Keep Going, Austin Kleon mentions JOMO (the joy of missing out).
JOMO is about knowing what you want to spend your time, energy, and resources on. It means living a life that satisfies and fulfills you. It means appreciating the options you have to do something else or be somewhere different, but choosing to stay within your own loop rather than chasing everyone else’s.
JOMO means choosing to miss out on the options that do not matter.
You only have a limited number of hours on this planet; a limited number of places you can go; a limited number of things you can see or do or learn. Spend these tokens on things that matter to you. Those around you might travel more, own more, see more — but you can choose to stay focused on what makes you content, and maximize your experience of life that way.
You will end up missing out on someone else’s adventure.
But the alternative is to miss out on your own.
