The Thing Is, Some People Do Care—but Does that Matter to You?
“No one else cares.”
I always hated being told this.
I was insecure about my body, and I hated it when my parents claimed that no one on the beach would care about my moles or uneven skin tone. I was worried about giving a presentation, and I hated it when my friends told me that no one in class would care about my stutters or flushing face.
I hated it because oftentimes, I knew that it was a lie. Not a deliberate lie, but an untrue statement nonetheless. Because even to this day, I know the opposite to be true.
Sometimes, people do care.
And ironically, this realization has been the key to my confidence.
Some people do care.
Sometimes, people will notice your imperfections.
Some people will judge the way your body looks. Some people will scrutinize the way you talk during a presentation. Some people will pay attention to your faults and failures — and they will undoubtedly care.
I know this, because I cared too.
Like many insecure people, I tested my insecurities by looking for them in others. I searched for signs that other people were better or worse than me in the ways that mattered. I kept an eye on their strengths and weaknesses — because I cared about my own, as others care about theirs.
So yes, some people do care. Some people even care so much that they start bullying you or talking behind your back.
But that is not the problem.
It is unhelpful to force the opposite message.
The problem starts when you ignore the fact that some actually care.
When you push the message that “no one else cares” — a notion that rarely works. Because, deep inside, you know this to be false. Your focus on your insecurities is so strong that it feels impossible that others would simply ignore it or not even mind.
Not to mention, like me, you might be aware of other people’s flaws too and find it unlikely that your own should go entirely unnoticed.
Therefore, by pushing the opposite narrative on yourself (or others), you are disregarding something you (or they) know to be true. Deep down, you know that the onlookers are watching. No amount of verbal affirmation is going to convince you that they are ignoring the things you yourself notice.
But again, that is not the problem. In fact, it might do more good to know that “some people care”.
Because, what you might realize in these instances, is that you do not.
You decide whether it matters to you that some people care.
Think for a moment: Does it really matter what other people think or feel about your harmless imperfections?
Their opinions are not within your control. Even more importantly, there will always be those who dislike aspects of your appearance or personality, regardless of how much you try to prevent it. What matters, therefore, is not whether people care or not.
What matters is whether you allow that fact to control you.
In the end, you can choose to allow your insecurities to stop you from doing things your way. Or you can choose to let others care for all they want, and live with the security that it does not matter. I chose to do the latter; and I have never been more confident in myself.
The truth is, some people care. Some people hate the very things you hate about yourself, and you cannot escape that reality.
But if you care less about them, they lose their power over you — and so do your insecurities.
