There’s Nothing Wrong About Being Jealous
Jealousy has a bad reputation.
It has long been associated with immaturity and possessiveness. It might even be used as a retort during a fight. When someone calls you “jealous”, you might as well have lost the argument.
But there is nothing inherently wrong about jealousy.
Jealousy is a feeling like any other. You might feel jealous when you perceive your relationship to a significant person to be under threat. Perhaps someone you like is showing interest toward someone else, or maybe your best friend is spending time with a new acquaintance.
At its core, jealousy shows that you care.
It shows that you value your relationship with the other person. It shows that you care so much that you are (sometimes deeply) afraid of losing that connection, or seeing it change into something new and frightening. It is a sign of discomfort — and discomfort is a pathway to growth, sure — but it is also a sign of care and sometimes even love.
Jealousy, on its own, is harmless.
It does not matter what you feel. Emotions are experienced on the inside, as innate, uncontrollable, human reactions to your circumstances. You should never seek to suppress or overpower your emotions, nor should you let them push you toward certain courses of action.
That would be an actual issue.
If you decide to act upon your jealousy (by lying, manipulating, cheating, or the like), you might come to hurt others in the process. And if you try to remove your jealous feelings (by refusing to acknowledge them), you might come to hurt yourself. Put simply, the jealous emotion on its own cannot make you immature.
What matters, is what you do.
Emotions are impulsive reactions. Behaviors are — or should be — deliberate actions. You may feel jealous at any time (and maybe you feel like hurting someone because of that feeling), but as long as you remain patient with your emotions and choose to respond maturely to the situation that makes you jealous, you will keep that emotion from gaining hold of your actions.
Over time, that feeling will become like any other.
One that we all experience. One that we all struggle to process. One that is not the villain in itself, unless we allow it to control our behavior.
There is nothing wrong about being jealous.
Your actions will be proof of that.
