You Don’t Have OCD
Believe me, I’ve had it for 18 years.
Would you consider yourself a perfectionist?
Do you organize your pencils into neat rows of colors? Do you feel a deep urge to fix someone’s lobsided tie, or structure your bullet points, or select the perfect shade of blue for your bedroom walls? Do you try to keep your workspace tidy and spotless at all times?
These are all signs of perfectionism.
But they are not signs of OCD.
Perfectionism is a trait. OCD is a disorder.
OCD is one of the most misunderstood conditions of the human mind.
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (or OCD for short), is an anxiety disorder characterized by an intense feeling of fearful uncertainty triggered by an irrational assumption of a certain thought or stimulus causing undesired outcomes, and the attempt to remove this uncertainty by enacting a sense of control.
- Behaviors relating to OCD stem from frequent or constant obsessions, which are repetitive, intrusive thoughts of fearful content (ex. causing a house fire).
- The person responds to these obsessions with compulsions, which are self-regulating actions (or rituals) designed to evade the feelings or assumed consequences associated with the thought or stimulus (ex. checking the stove multiple times, to reduce the chance of oversight).
OCD is a complex pattern of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, resulting in an increased sense of uncertainty despite its aim to strengthen personal control. It is often a deeply-rooted issue and negatively impacts (almost) all facets of living. OCD has to be diagnosed and treated professionally.
Perfectionism, on the other hand, is a personality trait. As a source of behavior, it is the propensity to respond to perceived imperfections (like uncleanliness or unedited drafts) with a due course of correction. It can impede mental health but does not restrain living in the same way as OCD.
There are several stark differences between the two, including the following:
- Perfectionism is triggered by nuisances or perceived flaws in the self. Obsessions and compulsions, however, are triggered by things believed to carry great personal threat.
- Perfectionism is a personality dimension that applies to everyone, with individuals scoring anywhere from high to low levels. OCD is a product of symptoms, and according to a team of experts, only 2 percent of the population ever has OCD.
- Perfectionism is a descriptor (“I am perfectionistic”) and is triggered in all situations that include a perceived imperfection. OCD is a disorder (“I have OCD”) and applies to situations where an uncomfortable mental association has been triggered.
You can have OCD without being perfectionistic. You can be perfectionistic without having OCD. They are not incompatible — but their combination is not inevitable.
Correct self-diagnosis is impossible.
The only one who can give you a diagnosis is a licensed therapist.
And that is not a decision made lightly. The therapist must take into account your unique behaviors and personality, and how much your symptoms (or lack thereof) interfere with your daily activities. Details, observations, and considerations that can only be spotted through the keen eyes of a psychologist, make up the eventual confirmation or rejection of the diagnosis.
Self-diagnosis is disgusting. As a person who has struggled with mild to severe levels of OCD her entire life, I find it disrespectful when people make uneducated remarks about the condition. Self-diagnosis rids the disorder of its significance, making it seem like a common (or even cute) identity label — especially if it caters to a personal quirk of perfectionism. It also makes it more difficult for actually affected individuals to receive proper support and understanding from the public. In this way, it hurts the very people the diagnosis is meant to serve.
You cannot know whether you have OCD or not without the insight of a professional — and based on the above statistics, it is unlikely that you do.
Your struggles are valid without a diagnosis.
You should not need to label your daily challenges for them to be valid.
No matter how much your perfectionism hinders your work and impacts your life satisfaction, it is a valid concern to bring to conversations. Mental health is not only about diagnoses — rather, it is about the unique structures and peculiarities of a person’s mind. No one’s issues are more important than yours, because we all struggle with life in our own unique ways.
Of course, if you suspect you have OCD, consult a therapist who has the necessary credentials to potentially diagnose you. Until then, you cannot know with certainty whether or not you have that particular mental illness. (I am writing this as someone who once fulfilled all the commonly known traits of a particular disorder, but did not receive the diagnosis because of a specific missing detail that only my therapist knew of.)
At the end of the day, concerns connected to OCD and perfectionism are equally valid.
But never confuse the two.
Because if you do, you are making it harder for millions of people to be taken seriously in their pursuit of care and better living.
